What to do when you're the only single person amongst your group of friends?
Now you have no one to hang out with regularly. It may feel as though they've forgotten how tough it can be to be single, so you can't really talk to them as much as before. Every single woman I coach tells me this. And let's face it, it's difficult.
You may be in this situation for different reasons.
Maybe the last of your single friends recently entered into a relationship. Or perhaps you ended a relationship that wasn't working out for you. Whatever the reasons, people in couples sometimes find it uncomfortable to maintain relationships with single people. Your friend may be newly in love, and so caught up in it that she/he has time or attention for little else. If you're newly single, friends in relationships may not know what to say, what kind of emotional support to offer. And then (and it happens) some people in couples may feel that the single person is a threat to their own relationships. That's why there are so many couples-only dinner parties. If you do get invited, there'll often be a single person invited to round things out. It's a strange dynamic, but what can you do? A sense of humour can be very handy when this happens.
Remember that these are not your problems.
You can't own how others feel. You can only own the great potential of your own life. So what can you do?
- First of all, try not to be bitter or resentful. I know, it's hard. Mourn a bit. Replace the loss with new experiences, and new opportunities for friendship will arrive. What is something you've always wanted to do? Do it.
- Learn to experience the real joys of being single. How freeing it is to choose a restaurant without consulting anyone else! To go and have dinner and read a book. The right relationship is waiting for you. But until you find it, celebrate yourself.
- Stay in touch. Friends go and friends come back. Don't press for social engagements, but check in. And if someone really doesn't want to stay in touch, let them go with generosity.
- Acknowledge your feelings. Are you angry? Sad? Depressed? Getting in touch with negative feelings is essential to not letting negativity take over.
When the best of yourself shines through, you'll attract what you want and need, including love. Do you need help getting to that positive place? Think of signing up for a complimentary coaching call with me. Believe me, by the time you hang up the phone, you not be feeling negative!
Your best life is waiting.